Vantage Point

Possible explanations for this man’s position atop the light pole include, but are not limited to:

• His name is Zacchaeus, and after a disorienting earthquake he thinks he’s actually perched upon a sycamore tree.


• He learned that the “Official Pants Holder” and “Rainbow Sock Man” each imported salmonella peanut butter, and he has taken to extreme measures to avoid exposure.


• He’s expecting the overdue commencement of marathon training and wants to secure the best “seat” in the house.


• He thought sure he’d be a lightning rod for getting asked to the square dance.