To all of the mosquitoes with grand plans to awaken me from my slumber: Be warned that you will not prosper. Two nights previous, one of your fellow parasites attempted to ruin my night. Instead, I ruined his. If any of you try it again, please know that I am not above holding another stakeout. I will leave my bed, turn on my nightlight across the room, and wait for you to be lured in to my ambush. Just as you are feeling secure, I will extend to you the right hand of fellowship, a scarce nanosecond before the left hand of justice smashes you like the bug that you are.
In times past, I warned you with writing on the wall – or at least squished bugs on the wall, which I probably should have cleaned up with a tissue a long time ago. I shall be benevolent to your kind no longer.
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