Numero Once

Once upon a time, I ran a half-marathon. A good friend accompanied me to the race and, while I ran, stayed at the finish line and looked after my sweatpants. Such service is noble as it is rare.

He also compiled an Oscar-nominated film clip of the event, but unfortunately it ran against Forrest Gump and lost.

This year, I had a different entourage. My new friend, Doug, who shouldn’t be confused with my old marathon-running friend, Doug, didn’t quite make it to the start line. However, he made it to Mile 5, where he took much-appreciated still shots of the race.

Please allow me to walk you through some of the noteworthy aspects of these photos...

In this first picture, I have just spotted Doug and promptly remembered to untie the sweatshirt wrapped around my waist, so that I could throw it to Doug and be rid of it.

If you look carefully at this second picture, you can see the gray sweatshirt in my hands, just moments before I zing it over to Doug.

And finally, this picture sort of captures my arm in mid-throw. You may just have to trust me on this one.

In almost every race I’ve ever run, I’ve been passed by someone pushing a stroller. This race was no exception. Doug captured this one on film. A review of the digital image numbers reveals that, sadly, she had already passed me by Mile 5. However, the picture won’t show you that she’s also wearing roller blades. (Okay, I also got passed by another stroller-pusher later in the race, and this person wasn’t wearing roller blades.)

However, the digital image numbers also reveal that I outran Forrest Gump!