Memoirs of a Jaunty Jaunt to the Coast

A couple weeks ago, I traveled with a group of ladies and encountered a fellow who spouted off some rather unkind words about my friends. It is not good for women to be alone in such contexts, thought I, so I volunteered to accompany some female friends on a journey to a coastal town this past week.

I was glad I went. It was raining when we left, and the Dodge Caravan in which we rode had windshield wiper issues. The ladies allowed me to hop out intermittently and readjust the right windshield wiper.

I also had opportunities to utilize my God-given duct tape abilities, as the replacement window on the left side of the van threatened to eject some of our precious cargo without warning. At one point, while I was driving, I heard the crinkling of a plastic water bottle behind me and thought for sure we were down a passenger.

We were seven initially, but quickly became six, as the owner of the van had a sudden change of situation. We missed her company and thought about her often.












Upon arrival at our destination, we found cannons around every corner. I was blown away. Fortunately, none of the cannons were loaded.


What are these ladies looking at?

A fortress?

A boat?





It could have been birds.

The coast had seagulls aplenty.




One afternoon, as we eagerly awaited our server’s delivery of lunch to our table, a seagull swooped down and helped itself to table scraps on a recently-vacated table near us. We did our best to threaten it not to return, but despite our sustained efforts to bombard it with olive pits or to spook it with catlike hissing noises, this persistent seagull continued to pillage the nearby table. The only thing the gull changed was the direction from which it approached.









The restaurant offered a pigeon entrée. Some of us were tempted to ask if we could make specific requests.

The most senior lady on our trip reached a milestone birthday while we were gallivanting around the coast. We did all we could to make her birthday special. Also, we used her birthday as a bargaining chip whenever a situation arose when we needed a lower price or a dinner reservation at a full restaurant. Yes, we were shameless.

On one occasion, in an attempt to persuade a vendor to take a little more off his last price, we explained that our friend needed a birthday gift. The vendor promptly pulled out identification and showed us that his own birthday was the following day.










The vendor was disinclined to celebrate our friend’s birthday, but we didn't let him rain on her parade. We were fired up about her birthday. When a person reaches a certain age, candles simply no longer suffice. For those really big birthdays, only one thing will get the job done: flambé.

Speaking of lighting things on fire...we stumbled upon some peculiar signage along the beach. After moments of quiet reflection, we discerned the meanings of these signs. The first sign prohibits dogs with jagged tails. The second sign prohibits setting dogs with jagged tails on fire.





I wonder if the puppies pictured here will generate more comments than these puppies.